Torn Asunder Read online

  Dev leaned back a little in his chair, the muscles of his face taut. "I was proposing marriage. That's where we were. Now when shall we marry?"

  "Never." Cle reached for the champagne glass, but before she could take a sip, Dev removed it from her hand.

  "Listen to me, Cle, I don't know what game you're playing, but I don't like it. We are getting married." "Don't be—"

  "And if you call me silly again, I won't be responsible for my actions." Dev looked grim.

  "Why are you pushing to marry me now?" Cle squalled. There was a voice inside her screaming, "To hell with worries, grab him now. Marry him. For however long it lasts it will be all the happiness you will have your whole life long."

  "It's time I had an heir?" Dev asked, the facetious question having a hard humor. He stood and took a tray from the sideboard. "I'll get the coffee. If I don't get out of this room for a minute, 1 might do something I'd regret."

  "Don't talk like a fool," she shouted after him. "No one today marries to get an heir."

  There was a short silence then Dev returned to the dining alcove carrying the tray now laden with steaming coffee, cream, Irish whiskey, and a cream liqueur.

  Cle watched him, her hands clenching and unclenching. "No one marries for an heir," she muttered again, glaring at him. How dared he destroy the beautiful mood! Why did he have to mention marriage and make her recall the conversation she had heard at Clive's home?

  Dev threw her one acid glance then he continued to prepare the Irish coffee. .A jigger of Irish whiskey, a generous measure of coffee, a small amount of cream liqueur, a generous dollop of heavy cream topped by freshly grated nutmeg. He passed one of the artistic concoctions in the crystal mug to her and she mumbled a thank you.

  She sipped the coffee. It was delicious and she praised him.

  "You have cream on your nose." His smile was slow in coming as he dabbed at her nose with his napkin. He leaned back in his chair. "Why are you fighting me on this, Cle? You know we're good together. What more proof do you want that we are quite solid as a team than the last year we spent together? Can you say that was bad?"

  "No, I can't... but that was different."

  Dev's chair crashed backwards as he surged to his feet. "Let's finish our coffee in the other room. We'll take care of this later."

  Cle preceded him feeling heavy hearted. She didn't have too many arguments to use against him. She didn't want to tell him what she had overheard because he would overcome every reason. She knew him well enough to know that he would be furious with her for accepting such a specious argument as the conversation she had overheard, for throwing a wrench in the works. Dev would ride roughshod over anything or anybody who dared to assume what he might think or do. He would expect her to do the same, but Cle couldn't help the feeling of truth that cloaked her like doom when she had heard Clive talk to the faceless Lydia.

  She sat on the couch expecting Dev to sit opposite her. He sat next to her, very close, and pulled her back next to him. "You're mad at me," Cle babbled, loving the warmth of him, feeling soothed because his chin massaged her hair.

  "Am I?" Dev crooned near her ear. "I suppose I am." His arm tightened around her. "You confuse me, lady. I admit that. There's much about the inside of you that's a mystery to me. Maybe I've never even met the deep down you, but I've decided that I must try to." He sipped his coffee with one hand and massaged her neck and shoulder with the other.

  "You are?" Cle swallowed, burrowing her face into his chest.

  "I am."

  "You're a busy man." "Yes."

  "You have business interests all over the world that need your attention." "That's true."

  "Mustn't neglect business," Cle said, her eyes blinking in pleasure at his stroking.

  "Never," Dev muttered, taking tiny bites of her ear lobe. "Shall I show you something that belongs to you and that 1 was going to give you tonight?"

  Cle tried to push away from him. "No... you mustn't give me anything.. .not now." There seemed to be a tiny explosion in her head. She knew what he had for her—and she couldn't even bear looking at it!

  Dev held her tight, his mouth not leaving her hair as he delved into his pocket. "Easy, my angel, don't fight me. It won't do you any good." His voice velvety low, but threaded with steel. "I know you won't let me give it to you now, but I want you to see it."

  "I don't want to see it." Cle gritted her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut.

  "Open your eyes, love. Come on, do as I say."

  "I don't have to," Cle wailed childishly.

  "Cle!"

  "All right... but I won't take it! I won't like it either!" She opened her eyes to look into his, wondering how Dev could stand her the way she was acting. She had never been childish... even as a child, she thought giddily. She had always been quiet, studious, obedient... Oh, Lord, she thought with disgust she sounded like a German Shepherd!

  "Cle? Cle, will you come out of that daydream and look at this?" He maneuvered her around in his arms, so that she was facing more forward. In his free hand he held a square leather box.. .just as she'd suspected.

  Tears filled her eyes. She stared at the box as though it were Pandora's. Let it be a bracelet... necklace ... anything but a ring!

  Dev snapped the catch and the top flew back revealing a white velvet bed. A large sapphire, rectangle in shape, lay there. It was a deep blue, multifaceted, giving off a mesmerizing fire from its depths. The setting was gold and ornate. Cle knew it was old.

  "It's the Carstairs betrothal ring. Do you like it?"

  "It's beautiful.. .but I could never wear it. It must be very valuable."

  "Very valuable," Dev observed drily, ignoring the first remark she made. "I've had it cut to your size and cleaned. I'll keep it until you're ready to wear it."

  "Is something wrong with your hearing?" Cle asked testily, twisting her head around so that she could look at him. "I'm not wearing it."

  Dev looked down at her. "When you get angry with me, your eyes darken almost to navy.. .almost to the same color as the rim around your irises." His voice had a musing sound as though he were talking to himself. "I think I love your eyes best."

  "Don't you ever listen to me, Dev Carstairs?" She glared up at him.

  "I always listen to you, darling. You're a very interesting lady, whose opinions I value."

  "Well, you don't sound... You value my opinions?" She studied his face to detect mockery. There was none.

  "Very much so. Other than the closest colleague, I've never discussed my business more with anyone than I have with you. How often at night have we sat on the floor in front of the fire and talked with each other about what we did that day?"

  "Quite often," Cle said, recalling how late it would be sometimes before they realized the time. They had rarely watched television. They were too involved with one another for such distraction. More often than not if they stayed home—and they stayed home quite often on a week night—they would listen to the stereo and talk. Yes, she did know quite a bit about Dev's business, she conceded. "But you never talked much about your family."

  "My family is not as interesting as my business." Dev grinned down at her. "But if you want to know about it, ask. There are skeletons in the closet, but I won't hide them from you. For instance, my grandmother was one-quarter Irish, but my grandfather loved her anyway. She only died two years ago and I miss her yet." Dev's face was closed for a moment. "I sometimes think she was the only one of them who ever knew me."

  Cle didn't move. She watched the hard muscles of his face move under the flesh because of the emotion he was feeling. "You were lonely when you were young," she burst out.

  "Was I?" His eyes flashed downward like a warm caress, "I was in Debrett's Peerage. How could I be lonely?" His voice was light, but Cle saw the shadow in his eyes.

  "I would have liked to have known you when you were a boy. I'll bet you were an awful handful, into everything." She snuggled closer, sighing when his hold tightened.

  "I was
. Once when I was at Larren and my mother and father were traveling as they often did, my mare was ready to foal. I was afraid for her. I had nightmares that the grooms would be too busy with Father's hunters to watch over Grilla. So... I slipped out of bed late one night, went down the kitchen stairway, and went to the stables and brought Grilla to my room."

  "You didn't!" Cle exclaimed, imagining a boy coaxing a pregnant horse up the back staircase of an Elizabethan manor house.

  "I did," Dev said firmly, frowning at her laughter, his own eyes bright. "Then I had to go back down again and get straw and hay before Grilla would settle down."

  "She didn't stay the night?" Cle looked at him wide eyed.

  "She did and was quite content with her straw on the Aubusson carpet, so content that she foaled near dawn," Dev said, his eyes remembering, his laugh infectious. "I don't know if you've ever seen a horse foal, but sometimes they have a difficult time. Grilla didn't have a horrible time but she did have a little bit of trouble and she let me know about it. Lord, how loud her neigh was! The whole staff came running. The butler was apoplectic, cook nearly fainted."

  "Oh, God!" Cle trilled, hanging on to Dev. "You didn't really do this?"

  "I did. Believe it. My tutor whaled me with a strap. It took days of cleaning to get the smell out of the house. My father and mother were furious. My grandmother laughed and took me to stay with her until the dust settled.

  Torn Asunder 145

  She even arranged for one of her grooms to go to Larren and care for Grilla so that I would be at peace. My father didn't dare argue with her. She would have ripped him apart and if my mother said anything, Grandmama would reduce her to tears in minutes. She was my bulwark against the world. When others would call me incorrigible, Grandmama would say I was just like her dear Willett and glare at everyone."

  Tears trickled down her cheeks. "Oh, I wish I could have known her." She gulped, taking Dev's hankie from his pocket and wiping her eyes.

  "You would have liked her and she would have adored you with your wild ways." Dev heaved himself from the couch, then swept Cle up and close to his chest.

  "Me?" She closed her arms around his neck as though it was the most natural thing in the world to be carried to bed by Dev. "I'm not wild. I'm very sober and hardworking."

  "You're wild and free and untamable and I'm glad, even though sometimes you're a trial to me."

  "Monster." She bit his ear, making him flinch. "Put me down this instant."

  "I'm going to.. .just as soon as we reach the bed." His eyes had a liquid emerald look and Cle forgot everything except her deep, deep love for him.

  "I hope you're not tired tonight, angel. I have a feeling that I'll want to keep you awake most of the night." Dev undressed her with a sensual absorption that narrowed his eyes, gave a lazy droop to his lips, and when at last she was completely stripped caused his nostrils to flare.

  "Dev, I hate it that you were lonely," Cle whispered as he lowered her to the bed.

  "Then make it up to me. Keep me close to you and never let me be lonely again." Dev nuzzled her shoulder, his mouth wet and thrilling. "You're mine, Cle. You must see that."

  "I do see that, Dev, but..."

  "No buts tonight, love, just you and me together."

  Cle wondered for a fleeting second if any other woman in the whole world were as lucky and knew such pleasure. Was she the only one who caught fire because one man, the only man for her, was there with her?

  "Cle, my God, your hands, they're driving me crazy." Dev groaned, his body writhing next to hers.

  There was such a feeling of power in knowing that she aroused Dev as much as he aroused her. It was always new for them, always the first time. Cle felt protective and alive with him, shared and alone, ecstatic and solemn. He was her man and the whole world to her.

  The rocket ride to climax was an intolerable heat that warmed Cle to her soul. There could never be an ecstasy greater than that she shared with Dev. Rapture and agony fought for control of her mind and body as she clutched Dev tightly.

  "Marriage would be sweet between us, love. Admit it," Dev muttered sleepily, his hands stroking her in lazy satisfaction.

  "Your family would hate me." She nuzzled under his chin.

  "Who cares what they think? I don't." But you would, someday, she said to herself and sighed.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Dev seemed to be everywhere. He would show up just as Cle -was going to„take a lunch break and drive her somewhere secluded for a meal. When Cle would protest, he'd smile then kiss her cheek, and refuse to take "no" for an answer. He knew she had very little breakfast and was always in a rush in the mornings, but somehow he always contrived to have them together over juice and coffee. Dinner was a problem. If Cle said she wasn't hungry, Dev would get something from a takeout place and they would picnic, sometimes in a park, sometimes in their air-conditioned lounge. That was the worst... when they were alone. Dev would watch with that half smile, his eyes like an emerald brand. Almost as bad was when they were invited somewhere. If Dev were not invited, he would insist on driving her. That was rare. More and more people invited them as a couple.

  When the Nivenses invited them to their beach house again, it was on the tip of Cle's tongue to decline. Then Diana said that she had mentioned it to Dev and he was delighted to accept.

  "How nice," Cle observed, her voice having a hollow sound as she doodled on her drawing board and listened to Diana outline the event. The face that appeared on the paper was Dev's. Dev with horns, a tail, cloven feet, and a trident in his hand. Cle replaced the receiver on the cradle after promising Diana-that they would be there. "Damn him, damn him, damn him! Why is he doing this? He's backing me into a corner and enjoying every minute of it. It would serve him right if I did marry him. Then his whole family might go up in atomic smoke! She could imagine a throng of Carstairs screaming their outrage at her inclusion in their illustrious family.

  Then what would she do when the dust settled and Dev began to notice how poorly she fitted with his titled friends and family members. Jump in the ThamesRiver the first chance she got! She crumpled the picture of the Lucifer-like Dev and tossed it away, refusing to dwell anymore on the situation that tortured her.

  "Sydney is lovely, isn't it?" Cle said to Dev as they drove to the Niven's house on Saturday.

  "A wonderful city. I hope we can visit it often in the future." Dev laughed when she glowered at him.

  Cle was tight lipped.

  "All right," Dev said. "Truce. We'll have a good day surfing, enjoy the company, and then go home."

  Cle nodded, watching him, suspicious of his congeniality.

  The surf was up! Awesome waves rolled shoreward. The cooling breeze lifted the black strands of Cle's hair and blew them into her mouth. She glowed with excitement when Alistair gestured to the beach and pointed to the boards already down there. Dev was there when she jumped to the sand. He caught her, laughing.

  She couldn't have stopped the bubble of answering laughter if her life depended on it. She felt good. She always felt good with Dev.

  "Stay with me," he commanded, his voice stern.

  A second's rebellion died easily. "I will," she promised.

  He leaned down to kiss her hard.

  When Cle looked around, Diana was watching her, a knowing smile on her face. She could feel the heat in her cheeks as she pushed her board out into the water, lowered herself onto it and began to paddle out, then all thought of anything but the pulsating water left her.

  Dev was patient but firm. He refused to let her take waves he thought were too strong for her, but no matter how many times she wanted to go out, he agreed.

  Finally, she and Diana declared they had had enough and Max decided he would stay with the women. Then Cle had a chance to see that Dev had greatly understated his expertise on the board. He and Alistair paddled out. They were confident and sure on the boards. She couldn't help jumping to her feet when she saw Dev take the curl, riding down the tunnel of wat
er, balancing the board, walking it, dipping it up into the curl, his body in total command. Her heart rose in her throat like a live thing as that roll of power chased Dev shoreward. When it looked as though he must fall, he corrected and stayed steady. Cle knew that Alistair had found a big wave as well but her eyes never strayed from Dev. He was bigger than the wave, bigger than the world. He filled her vision to the exclusion of all else. When his board hit the beach, she expelled the breath that until that moment, she hadn't realized she held.

  His grin was for her alone, a pride in it, as though he had ridden that curl just for her.

  She could feel the answering smile widen her mouth and all at once she was running toward him, arms out-

  spread, full of joy and laughter. Dev was victorious. He had dared Neptune and he had won.

  He dropped his board and caught her up in his arms, swinging her around, holding her close.

  "You were wonderful out there. I thought I'd be afraid.. .and maybe I was a little." She held his head with both hands. "But I was excited, too. It felt like I was with you." Cle's tongue clove to her mouth on the words. She felt naked, unprotected, as though she had opened her skin like the pages of a book and allowed Dev to read her insides.

  His face sobered. "You're always with me. I thought you knew that. No matter what I do or where I go."

  Cle swallowed, letting one hand trail down his cheek.

  "Hey, are you two going to cuddle all day?" Max yelled, a pouting mannequin from the salon on his arm. He waved at them. "Time for sundowners."

  "Coming," Dev called back and began to carry Cle up the beach.

  "Put me down," she burbled, her hands still tight around him. "I'm too heavy."

  "No." He smiled down at her, the green electricity of his eyes dancing on her skin. "I like to carry you. I'll be able to carry you when you're heavier, too."

  "What does that mean?" Cle was puzzled.

  "Nothing." He shrugged, the shuttered look to his eyes making Cle frown. Before she could say any more, they were at the rocky base of the incline leading to the house and Dev set her on her feet. He still kept his arm tight around her, but didn't look at her as they walked toward the house.