Torn Asunder Read online

  Diana handed cold beers all around and gave Cle a seltzer with lime.

  "You looked like a professional out there today, Dev," Alistair said.

  Dev saluted with his beer. "You looked pretty good yourself. This is a beautiful surfing area. I think my sisters will like it."

  Cle's head snapped around. She saw the querying looks on the other faces.

  "Are your sisters coming to Australia?" Max asked.

  "My whole family is coming out for a visit. My two sisters, a younger brother, Roddy and my aunt and uncle Simes. I have numerous cousins but they won't be coming." Dev announced all this in bland fashion, his eyes skimming from one person to another.

  Cle had the distinct feeling he was avoiding looking at her.

  "Why are they all coming now?" Diana made a moue. "I suppose I'm being too curious. You needn't answer..."

  "I don't mind answering." Dev took a deep draught of beer from his mug. "They are coming out to Australia because they will be attending my wedding." Dev dropped his bombshell then took another sip of beer.

  Cle felt like a fish tossed from the sea onto the shore. Her mouth opened and closed but no words emerged. She wriggled in her chair, trying to force her muscles into letting her rise.

  "Why you secretive old dog!" Alistair Nivens clapped him on the back. "I'll bet you're doing it because you want that Willson fellow to be your witness. Congratulations."

  Diana grabbed Cle's arms pulling her upright and into an embrace. "Cle, darling, I'm so happy for you. How could you have kept it so secret? I would have been shouting from the rooftops." She rocked a lifeless Cle in her arms not seeming to notice her glazed eyes. Then Diana released her and galloped to Dev's side to give him a big hug.

  Max was at Cle's side. "You look as though you didn't want Dev to tell us."

  "I didn't," Cle wheezed.

  "Surely you were going to ask us to attend?" Max looked offended. "Jaime will be hurt. That's true. I'm Jaime's friend and don't wish to see him hurt. That's also true... but surely you know that I'm your friend as well and would want to see you married." Max exhaled so sharply that his nostrils flared.

  "I..." Cle swallowed.

  Dev was there, one arm coiling around her. "You didn't want me to let the cat out of the bag, darling?" He pressed his lips to her forehead.

  "These people are assuming that it's me you're going to marry..." Cle squeaked, wetting dry lips with her tongue.

  Everyone laughed and crowded round them, appreciating Cle's little joke.

  "Of course, angel. Everyone knows you're the only woman I've ever wanted to marry." Dev bent closer to her.

  "Baloney," Cle muttered, her body having the sudden nervous spasms one would associate with flu.

  Dev held her tighter. "She's trembling," he said to the others in general.

  "I'll get tea," Diana said firmly.

  "I'll get the Scotch," Alistair interjected, nodding in an even more firm way to his wife.

  "Hot toddy. That's the thing," Max stated.

  The three of them scattered, leaving the mannequin named Jennifer staring at Dev and Cle.

  "Imagine anyone being upset by a marriage proposal," Jennifer mused, staring from Cle to Dev and back again. "It's better than some of the arrangements I've been offered." She looked back at Dev, a smile sliding across her face. "I think I'd feel different if you offered the same thing to me." Jennifer's stance changed subtly. Her tummy seemed flatter, her breasts more thrusting. She turned sideways and her derriere had a more enticing curve.

  Cle could feel her body stiffen. She leaned back so that she could look through her lashes at Dev. His smile had a knowing curve to it. Cle wanted to slap wet cement all over Jennifer's lissome body, then toss her in Sydney harbor. "I'm sorry but this is not an arrangement that can be filled by volunteers." Cle's voice was chipped ice. She could feel downward look Dev was giving her but she kept her eyes on Jennifer.

  The other girl shrugged. "You didn't seem too interested to me."

  "Perhaps you don't know me well enough to understand my reactions," Cle ventured sweetly, her hands coming up to Dev's waist.

  "Perhaps." Jennifer shrugged, then looked up at Dev, her smile coy. "But just in case she doesn't decide to pick up her option, you can always ring me at the salon. They have my- address and phone number."

  "I'll keep it in mind," Dev responded, amused sensuality in his voice.

  Jennifer raised her brows in response, then ambled from the room in the direction that Max had taken, her bottom waggling, in what Cle thought to be a disgusting fashion.

  "Do you think you might unfasten those nails of yours from my waist now?" Dev asked in a conversational way.

  "You are lucky I don't perform surgery on you with them." Cle spoke through her teeth. "Actually, I think you are in dire need of a lobotomy and if I can find a rusty knife I will oblige."

  "Bloodthirsty little thing, aren't you? I hope it isn't genetic. I wouldn't want to think that our children would all have that unfortunate penchant for mayhem," he crooned in her ear.

  "Penchant, my aunt Maude," Cle said between gritted teeth, straining away from him, but not succeeding too well. "How dare you tell those people that we are getting married!"

  "Why not? It's true. We are being married. I posted the banns at Saint George'sChurch two weeks ago." Dev took quick hold of Cle's one free arm, kissing the fisted fingers, his eyes alight. "I would have told you at the time but I was afraid that you would have thrown a spanner in the works."

  "Damned right I would have." Cle glowered at the laughing Dev.

  "Well, there you are. It would have been foolish to tell you, since you wouldn't have been at all cooperative. Would you like, to know where the reception is to take place, my love?" Dev let his mouth run up and down her cheek.

  Cle couldn't stop the shiver that ran through her body as his lips traveled over her cheek. "Reception?" she asked hollowly, her eyes riveted on him. "What are you talking about? There will be no reception, no wedding, no..."

  "I couldn't agree more. I don't want the fuss either, but I'm afraid some sort of fuss will be required. Sir Reginald was custodian of my estate until I came of age and though he is a crusty curmudgeon and pompous at times, I must have him at my wedding."

  "He'll hate me," Cle wailed softly, seeing in her mind's eye the look of contempt on the face of the tall, imposing admiral, Sir Reginald Simes.

  "Of course he won't hate you. How could he?" Dev looked at her, a crease of impatience on his forehead. "Besides I don't know what the bloody difference his opinion will make to our life together anyway." Then a smile curved his mouth. "There is Aunt Simes, my father's sister. Aunt Margaret looks like Queen Mary..."

  "The ship?" Cle quavered, feeling confused. Dev's laugh made her jump.

  "Not the ship, love." Dev threw back his head, his laughter unfettered, just as Alistair and Diana walked back into the room followed by Max and a pouting Jennifer, whose pout lifted when she looked at Dev.

  Diana and Alistair had had anxious looks on their faces but at Dev's laugh, the anxiety was replaced by relief. "Everything all right now?" Diana asked, eagerly.

  "Yes." Dev was still laughing. "But I think a hot drink will be good for Cle." He sat her down and accepted a cup for her putting in more sugar than she liked, then handing it to her and watching her drink, ignoring her glare.

  "I was just telling Cle about the reception we'll be having in the Yacht Club," Dev added.

  Cle frowned at him but he seemed not to notice.

  "Both Cle and I hope you will join us that day, both at the church and at the club," Dev finished kindly, moving his hand quickly when Cle leaned toward him with the steaming spoon she had just lifted from the cup. "Careful, darling, I know you would feel devastated if you burned me," Dev cooed to her. Then he leaned over and smoothed at the lines between her eyes. "I would hate to see those lines become permanent. You're so young to have them... and we don't even have children yet. Though we'll probably have them
soon." Dev ignored her gasp and smiled at the others.

  "Ohhhh, that's why you're marrying her. How different." Jennifer mused out loud. "I didn't think anybody did that any more. Is that coming back into fashion in the States? Shotgun weddings, I mean?"

  "Oh. You, you..." Cle searched her angry mind for a word and came up blank.

  "Don't tease her, Jen," Max insisted. "She has enough bridal nerves without worrying about that." He looked back at Cle. "You look slim as ever, love. You must let me know if you can't be in the show, you know..." His lips pursed, his eyes getting that faraway look. He didn't notice Dev gripping Cle's, wrist as she took hold of an antique andiron Diana used as a book end and wresting it from her. "Ummm I could get Delia to take your place in a pinch."

  "Max!" Cle's voice had a strangled sound.

  "Uhhh?" He looked back at Cle, a blank expression on his face.

  "I think that Cle would like you to drop the subject," Alistair offered in a soft voice, gesturing to his wife to remain calm as she glared at Jennifer. "The reasons for Dev and Cle's marriage are their own business," he finished.

  "Oh, God!" Cle felt her face contorting as she looked from one kind face to the other. If it took the rest of her life, she would pay Dev Carstairs back for this one, she vowed to herself. She found herself drinking the tea, drinking the hot toddy, drinking the Scotch. When she rose to her feet, there was a distinct wobble to her walk.

  "See," Max chortled, "I knew she wasn't herself. She's staggering from the shock."

  "From the alcohol, I think," Dev said kindly, one arm supporting her, even when she tried to turn away from him.

  They had a barbecue meal, which at any other time, Cle would have loved. They cooked prawns wrapped in foil, and deep-water fish the same way. It was all served with a lemony butter that she could feel dribbling down her chin. As side dishes there were huge bowls of fruit and iced fruit juices. Cle's enjoyment would have been ultimate if she hadn't had to worry about the wedding and the way Jennifer looked at Dev. The whiskey she had drunk dulled the edges of her reactions so that by the end of dinner she was sure her only worry was Jennifer. Marriage to Dev was only a dream that could be put aside.

  The next day she spent in bed, the combination of seafood and alcohol playing havoc with her stomach and head. Dev again assumed the role of nurse and brought her cold cloths for her head and weak tea for her stomach.

  Cle wanted nothing more than to have a knock down drag out battle with him but she didn't have the strength. Even opening her eyes was an agony. "You can leave, you know. You don't have to stay with me." Cle was trying to be brave even though she felt she'd been keel hauled the length of the Queen Mary. Damn, why did she think of that? She did not want to remember any thing about Saturday at the Nivenses'.

  "Would I desert you, my little bride-to-be?" Dev crooned to her.

  "I... hope... Australia's ... largest... shark ... gets ... you," she gasped, her head splitting. "And I would never marry a man who travels in such fast company— drinking all the time," Cle finished forlornly.

  "I don't have a hangover, love," Dev pointed out, changing the cloth on her head.

  "I never had such things until I met you." She groaned. "You're a bad influence. Go away."

  "I'll change my ways," Dev promised, laughing. He helped her to the bathroom to shower and shampoo her hair.

  "Leopards never change their spots," Cle pointed out. "I'll join AA."

  "They could help you," Cle sighed. "Thank you." Dev leaned down to kiss her. "Don't mention it."

  They emerged from the bathroom later and Dev helped her slip into a fresh nightie. As she drifted to sleep, her last hazy awareness was that Dev had done this before, that Dev had taken care of her in many unattractive situations, that he had seen her in a more vulnerable, unprotected way than anyone in the world .

  When she woke in the morning, her first thought was that her mouth had turned into a desert. Her second thought was that she had to run.

  She turned on her side and looked at Dev sleeping

  next to her. One of his arms was thrown back on the pillow, but he wasn't laying flat on his back. His body was bent protectively toward her.

  I can't marry you, Dev, she spoke to him in her mind. I want to marry you. I want that more than anything I have ever wanted and maybe if you were anyone else, I would just grab my chance and run with it. How can I with you? She lifted her hand toward the hair falling over his forehead. She touched it lightly, not wanting to wake him. You have a responsibility, Dev, and I know you. You might think that it wouldn't bother you, but I think it would some day and if we were married for years and I saw that look in your eyes, that look that said you'd done the wrong thing, then I couldn't live with that. I couldn't lose you then. Now, I have a chance of being a little happy without you. I'll have my work... and my memories... but if we were married, I couldn't give that up. It would hurt me too much. And I can't explain any of this to you, Dev, because you would just ride down all my arguments.

  She slipped out of bed and into the shower, feeling logy but purposeful. This time she wouldn't just dart away. She would make solid plans so that Dev couldn't find her. She would talk to Jaime.

  Dev drove her to work. He was in a relaxed, lazy mood. When he pulled her to him, outside Max's salon, his kiss was warm, promising. "I feel damned good knowing that next week at this time your last name will be Carstairs, my darling." He let her go with one last hug. "I'll pick you up tonight. Let's get take-out food, shall we?"

  "Fine." Cle smiled, reaching for him, her kiss opening on his mouth.

  "Hey," Dev drawled, his hands tightening on her. "I like that. Shall we go home for an hour or two?" . Cle's pulse galloped but she shook her head. "Lots of work."

  She got out of the car blindly, not looking back. . When she reached her cubicle she sat there for long moments trying to formulate a plan.

  She called Jaime, knowing it would be the middle of the night for him. "Jaime? Jaime? It's Cle. Yes, I know what time it is. Yes, I know how much sleep you need. I'm in trouble. I need your help. Yes. Dev has set a wedding date. Yes. If I come back to the States, I have... What? What did you say?" She sat in stunned silence as Jaime spoke rapidly. His plan was amazing. Yes... yes I suppose you're right. If I'm married to you, Dev couldn't do a thing. But Jaime... I don't like to take advantage of you like this... Yes, I know you always said that you wanted to take care of me... Yes, I... I think it's a good idea. All right. Good-bye, Jaime."

  She wasn't that lucky when she called the airlines. The soonest she could have a reservation was in five days. That was one day before the wedding date! Dev would be angry. No, Dev would be bloody furious, to put it in his words, Cle thought, holding her head in her hands.

  She worked through the morning on the Alice Springs collection, amazed that any ideas could come from a mind that was bent only on escape.

  She contented herself with an apple and cheese lunch and a carton of skim milk, not wanting to leave her drawing board when the sketches seemed to flow from her hands.

  The phone rang when she had a big bite of apple in her mouth. She chewed and then answered, '"ello." She swallowed some.

  "What the devil are you eating?" Dev laughed into the phone.

  Cle swallowed the rest. "Apple. Hi."

  "Hi, yourself bride-to-be. Getting nervous?"

  "Are you?" Cle whispered.

  "I wish I could come over there and get you and get married right now." The sensual snarl in his voice sent Cle's temperature up. She knew she was too young for a hot flash, but she felt sunburned all through her body... on the inside. She heard his sigh and stiffened. Maybe he was having second thoughts. "I've just gotten a phone call from my sister Tessa. She, Sybil, and Roddy will be coming in tomorrow and are booked into the Boulevard Hotel. Lord!" Dev sighed again. "They want to go to Alice Springs. Are you laughing?"

  Cle had to smile at the anguished sound of his voice. "Not really. But I'm doing some sketches for a show and it will be ca
lled the Alice Springs Collection."

  "Terrific." Dev sounded like a martyr. "Tessa and Sybil will no doubt buy the whole collection. First they want to fly to Alice Springs, then drive to Ayer's Rock. God, Alistair tells me that it's a three-hundred-mile drive between those spots.

  "It looks like you'll be busy this week." Cle saw a glimmer of hope. If Dev was going to be busy with his family he wouldn't notice that she was gone until she was well away.

  "We'll be busy, my love. You are marrying me. You are marrying my family. I cannot... I will not entertain them alone."

  "You make them sound like monsters." Cle doodled on the pad in front of her, watching Dev's face appear on the paper.

  "Roddy isn't bad. My sisters are whirlwinds. You notice I didn't say my brothers-in-law were coming. They take every chance they can to get a breather from my sisters."

  Cle's laugh bubbled up. "You're terrible."

  "That's my girl. I thought for a moment I wasn't going to hear you laugh." His voice had a husky rasp, making Cle's nerve ends tingle. "I can't keep my mind on what I'm doing thinking about you. Don't work late tonight, please."

  "I won't." Cle wanted him with a real ache.

  "I have something to tell you, something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time." The voice changed. "By the way, are you wearing your glasses?"

  "Yes." Cle could hear the throb in her voice. "What do you have to tell me?"

  "Tonight. Keep your glasses on, love. I don't want you getting headaches. Oh, God, I definitely don't want you to have a headache tonight. Later."

  Cle sat there staring into the earpiece of the phone even after the voice came on telling her that her phone was off the hook. "Dev. Dev, let me go. Let me go now," she pleaded, one fist coming up to press her mouth.” I will have the strength. I will have the strength to leave you," she grated out.

  That evening they were hardly in the door before Dev turned her in his arms and began making love to her. The take-out food sat on the hall table despite Cle's halfhearted protest.